Orgasm control mistress
Made his wife fuck the landlord for rent,
But as she got older,
The landlord got colder,
And now they live in a tent.
Who were found stuck belly to belly,
Because in their haste,
They used library paste,
Instead of petroleum jelly.
Who offered her body for sale,
She was kind to the blind,
For on her behind,
Her prices were written in Braille.
Filled up her vagina with glue,
She said, with a grin,
“If they’ll pay to get in, They can pay to get out of it too.”
Whose tool was most horribly bent,
To save himself trouble,
He put it in double,
And instead of coming, he went.
Whose prick was so long he could suck it,
He said, with a grin,
As he wiped off his chin,
“If my ear were I cunt, I’d fuck it.”
Booger, had all the girls sighing,
By praising their twats in,
Both Greek and in Latin,
Then fucking them till they were dying.
Sported organs of sex internal,
When an insensitive lass,
Did take him to task,
He replied, “Contraria contrariis curantur-al.”
(Things are cured by their opposite-als) – F.B.
Once planted two acres of titz,
They came up in the fall,
Pink nipples and all,
Then he leisurely chewed them to bitz.
Was determined a security risque,
For acts of perversion,
Were his main diversion,
At which one can only say, “Tisque.”
Once dreamed she was having a scrugh.
Repenting her sin,
he awoke with chagrin,
At finding it perfectly trugh.
“Can it be that my eyesight’s defective?
Has your east tit the least bit,
The best of your west tit,
Or is it a trick of perspective?”
Now this is the strangest one yet,
Had a member so long,
So pointed and strong,
He could skewer six yaks en brochette.
With possums and snakes sought his solace.
His children had scales,
And prehensile tails,
And voted for Governor Wallace.
Who had a collapsible asshole.
It was handy, you see,
When he farted at sea,
He could bend down and make up a parcel.
Who was constantly wetting the bedding.
Till it made his wife say,
“I don’t mind the spray,
It’s the stench in the morning I’m dreading.”
Whose ballocks were two different sizes.
One weighed a full pound,
And dragged on the ground,
The other was large as a fly’s is.
Traveled by bus to South Hants.
Five others fucked her,
Besides the conductor,
And the driver came twice in his pants.
Found guilty of obscene behavior.
When he met little girls,
He’d rub spunk in their curls,
When cautioned he said, “Spunk makes ’em wavier.”
Had the most overwhelming of quims.
The priest of the diocese,
So it wasn’t all singing and hymns.
Who saved up tin cans and put snot in ’em.
He threw in some shit,
To spice it a bit,
And sold ’em to boys, who shot off in ’em.
Took to kicking in his ex’s door,
Then he went a bit whacko,
Hopped in his white Bronco,
And took L.A.P.D. on a tour. – F.B.
Who liked sticking flutes up her rea-ha.
After eating escargots,
She could fart Handel’s “Largo,”
Her encore was “Ave Maria.”
Always took contraceptive precautions.
But one day little Ermyntrude,
Let a little sperm intrude,
“Does anyone here do abortions?”
Who could fart unbelievably loud.
When he let go a big ‘un,
Dogs were deafened in Wigan,
And the windowpanes shattered in Oudh.
Who said to his harem, “My dears,
You may think it odd of me,
But I’ve given up sodomy,
And taken up fucking.” Big cheers!
Then up spoke his friend the mahout,
“Fucking’s all very well, I’ve no doubt,
But I just had a bunk,
Up an elephant’s trunk.”
Cries of “Shame!” “Dirty sod!” “Chuck ‘im out!”
Was asked when he rogered his whore.
At three, five, and seven,
And eight, and a quarter past four.”
Who seemed to get wearier and wearier.
No wonder_this monk,
Was sharing his bunk,
With his girlfriend, the Mother Superior.
Who went for a walk with a builder.
He knew that he could,
And he should, and he would,
And he did, and he goddamn near killed her.
Had a cock that could sing “La Paloma.”
But the sweetness of pitch,
Couldn’t put off the hitch,
Of impotence, size, and aroma.
Is so offensive he makes my old dog sick,
With weird vacant eyes,
And felt-covered thighs,
He’s hardly what I’d call Jurassic. – F.B.
Made his neighbors exceedingly ill,
When they learned of his habits,
Involving white rabbits,
And a bird with a flexible bill.
Whose cunt was exceedingly small.
But the size of her anus,
Was something quite heinous,
It could hold seven pricks and one ball.
Was heard to confess in her cups,
“The height of my folly,
Was fucking a collie,
But I got a nice price for the pups.”
Who was plumbing a girl by the sea.
She said, “Stop your plumbing,
There’s somebody coming!”
Said the plumber, still plumbing, “It’s me.”
Who talked about women and things.
But his secret desire,
Was a boy in the choir,
With a bottom like jelly on springs.
Was long past wanting a piece.
He jacked off his hogs,
His cow, and his dogs,
Till his parrot called in the police.
Whose dong was unspeakably long.
But a friendly giraffe,
Chewed the length of his staff,
And ecstatically burst into song.
Had a cunt that could bark, neigh, and whinny.
The hunting set chased her,
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